Theoretical: a bird falls from the nest

in theory,
……………I swim out to the sandbar and the waves do not wind bruises into my skin.
in theory,
……………I am standing on the edge of an Andean cliff and when I spread my arms –
……………I can fly.
……………I dig my stalactite nails into my hands and hope they leave marks.
in theory,
……………I am nineteen and his hands on my hips stay there.
……………I am nineteen and I go home with only a hickey to hide.
……………I am nineteen and I kiss girls instead of boys because I want to.
in theory,
……………my parents get married.
……………my mother marries a man who does not look like me.
……………I have older brothers.
……………I have four parents, not three, not two, and not one.
……………my grandfather’s eyes don’t spell out bastard when they trace my skin.
in theory,
……………she is still in love with me.
……………I am still in love with her.
……………she comes home and we talk about everything I never said –
……………she tells me she loves me –
……………she lets me go.
in theory,
……………the scar on my arm fades to nothing.
……………I make it through the year before it kills me.
……………the water chokes me before I wake up dead and drowning.
……………the electricity in my veins electrocutes me –
……………my fingers scream in pain before they settle into numbness forevermore.
……………I bite his neck back and wind my hand through her hair –
……………I don’t wake up.
in theory,
……………history does not recall my grandmother’s quaking hands and sugar cane slices.
……………they tell me they still love me, that they’ll always –
……………when I walked out the back door, off the porch, I didn’t come back.
……………the Neanthe palm on my desk lives to see spring.
……………someone calls me an illegal and I laugh it off.
……………I smile at my best friend and the bags under my eyes sink into the waters of Lake Cochituate.
……………my arms stop trembling under the weight.
in theory,
……………I have learned how to forgive.

Isabella De Palo Garcia Perez grew up in Natick, MA with her mother and graduated from Natick High School in 2017. Following her time there, she attended Boston College to study English, History, and Latin American Studies. Having traveled abroad to various places in Ecuador, as well as Venice as a part of her degree, she was often inspired by global and local poets and writers. Several of her poems written during her undergraduate career have been published in BC’s literary magazines (Stylus and The Laughing Medusa). Recently, she’s been doing a year of service with College Advising Corps – Boston University and attending grad school there for a Masters of Global Policy with a specialization in Environmental Policy. Additionally, her work has been published by the “Through These Realities” program out of Somerville, MA.