Accumulate the poison very slowly as to not be detected. Take years. The unhurried process might sway you from your plan, shift your thinking, push you back toward love. If it does not, so be it. You have allowed yourself a reasonable chance to forgive. Once administered, make allowance for suspects to be eliminated rapidly and your name to top the list. At that point, be across a large body of water in a hotel that accepts cash and has a beachside café. Eat leisurely, copiously. Drink tubs of wine. Smoke. When they come, walk into the water, belly full.